Life has been really good lately. Not quite in the, “Wow, everything is going my way,” line, but not at all awful either. I’ve had some good days, and some bad ones. Today wasn’t particularly spectacular. The computers were still down and the novelty had worn off. Clinic was really slow, and slow doesn’t really mean less work so much as it means less interesting work. The past few weeks I’ve had a lot of head & neckaches. But overall, I feel like I’m in control of my own destiny–as though I can be as successful, or as happy as I want, as long as I stay focused on the goal.
I’ve been able to sleep, work, study, and even relax a little bit, making time for social stuff and for the inevitable solo goofing off. I’ve had time to let some big questions to surface.
What exactly do I want out of life? Do I want to be professionally successful, or do I want to be really happy personally? If I prioritize these two, will achieving one mean sacrificing the other? Which would make me a better person? Does it matter?
I know I want to travel. I want to make a difference somehow. And it’d be nice if I got to share my life with a man and a dog at some point. But do I really have that much control over whether any of this actually happens? Or should I just quit worrying and trust everything to be all right?