1) During review of patient abdominal CT:
—Surgical Resident IT: “Wait, is there fluid there? Go back.”
—Surgery Attending AM: “She’s a female, could it be female fluid?”
2) 25 yo active military admitted for Closed Head Injury, secondary to being dropped on his head during a litter training exercise–i.e. military speak for “how to practice transporting injured comrades without dropping them on their heads.” Guess his team really needed the practice.
3) “You’re not Irish-you must be Swedish. A good Irish girl would have brought me a bottle of Jameson today in the hospital.”–my alcoholic patient, stuck in the hospital sans recreational substances on St. Patty’s Day.
4) “blah blah blah…..Patient with multiple stab wounds, blunt trauma to the spleen, pneumothorax…[etc, etc]”–resident report
–Intern JM “Does this mean I have to give another ‘new friends’ speech?”
5) [In reference to patient on per oral trial diet after long term parenteral nutrition] “She says she felt nauseous after eating the cafeteria enchiladas yesterday.”–MS3 DD
Senior Resident GC: “D/C enchiladas.”