Random Tuesday Thoughts July 29, 2009

Before coming to El Paso, I thought chihuahuas were only for very large women who never left their living room, and Paris Hilton, but everyone has one here. I’ve seen people walking at least half a dozen different varieties on my block alone. It’s a nice little neighborhood, and the weather’s pleasant after work.

I’m doing really well in my clerkship. My director actually told a patient today, “She’d make a excellent psychiatrist, but I’m sure she’ll be excellent at whatever she does.” Yay!

I’m pretty sure one of my residents (yes, the one half my class thinks is incompetent) was flirting with me today, awkwardly and out of the blue. Looking like a complete idiot, I was prepared for. Unsolicited compliments and Grey’s Anatomy landmine navigation, not so much.

Bocas y cocktails on Friday in the new apartment. Am I stressed or excited about it? Excited! Who’d guess?

Med School Quotes of the Week: End of Year Gems December 29, 2008

1) “There’s a lot of cool people in your class.”–KD

“Really? I thought our class was mostly made-up of the wrong kind of white people.”–MA

2) “Wait–who said that? Was it JG? Was it RB? Oh man, it wasn’t me when I was drunk was it?”–CW

~~

3) “What do you want to bet my phone doesn’t know how to spell that?”–KD

“What? It’s a common text:  ‘Chronic Idiopathic Myelofibrosis, lol!’”–PW

4) “First with water, second without water, third like water.”–RC, on how to drink whiskey

5) “See? It’s an awkward palm tree!”–VR

6)”Paul Farmer sucks and he hates your blouse.”–NV

And your West Texas bonehead-elementary school principal program-naming bonus:

5) “Yeah, the kids who failed their six-week tests have to take special [remedial] classes, and for the last two weeks, we keep hearing lists of names read over the PA system, and then the message, ‘These students should report to ‘Concentration Camp‘ immediately.”–MR, my lovely Jewish school teacher friend.

Med School Quotes of the Week: Xmas/Finals Edition December 10, 2008

1) “I couldn’t take any more of that lecture. I left halfway through.”–KD

“Did she put any of her bikini pictures in? Yep, they’re at the back. Oh, and the nude painting on the first slide.”–EL

“I don’t think that’s her.”–KD

“Come on–like she’d put in nude paintings of anyone else.”–EL, on one our slightly less-than-professional-professors.

2) “She did have…an unusually strong affinity for the gay men.”–KD

“There’s a word for that, K“–SW

3) After stacking small trashcans to trap me in a study carrol: “It’s a granuloma!”–SW

4) On Obama the smoker in a smokeless White House: “You know, Hillary Clinton was the one who made the White House smoke free.  I just wonder what those cigars were doing in the Oval Office.”–RT

“Well, he wasn’t smoking them, R.”–KD

5) “You’re going to come in here, invite CW to your party and not me?”–RB

“I invited you a week ago, on Facebook.”–KD

“So you did. –Pause– Well, I won’t be coming. I scheduled a ‘blue collar work night.’”–RB –So glad we could clear that up.

6) Five minutes into cookie decorating: “Remember, we’re giving them to Ronald McDonald House, so you have to eat any that are anatomically correct.”-KD

“Aw, man!”–GB

“Really? I’m going to have to re-do all of mine then.”–JL

Med School Quotes of the Week: Turkey edition December 4, 2008

Over-indulgent, over-stuffed quotes to start your holiday season right:

1.) “Squares are like women.  If they’re thirteen or under, just do them in your head.”–CS

2.) “Do you see those muscles?” –PW playing wingman as DC carved turkey

“Yeah, it must be all the yoga he’s been doing.”–HS (aka unimpressed female)

3.)  “The LOL cat picture you sent was funny, but it was a tortoise-shell.  I’ve always thought of you as more of a Russian blue.”–SH

4.)  “The Wilderness Medicine Club could sponsor your conference poster contest…”–SW

“With what, cash prize $6?”–AY

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”–SW

5.) Speculation on one mismatched couple’s ability to perform a complicated sexual positon: “So kind of a Tea Leoni-Adam Sandler-in-Spanglish thing?”–KD

“Oooh, I’m so jealous of Tea Leoni…because she’s married to David Duchovny.”–CS

“The sex-addict?”–KD

Squinting at CS’ boyfriend: “I can see it.”–GB

6.)  “Emotional trauma is not a free card.  [If your brother thinks taking Lamisil to treat his toenail fungus will help his chances in the post-divorce dating market], it’s your job to tease him. Just give him a hug every now and then.”–SW

7.)  “So that’s how I met Harry Connick, Jr.’s mother-in-law.”–DC

“Who is he married to?”–PW

“Jill Goodacre, the Victoria’s Secret model.”–DC

“Wait–you’re telling me you’re ONE DEGREE AWAY from a Victoria’s Secret model but you’re excited because now you know someone related to Harry Connick, Jr. by marriage?”–HS

8.)  “Oh great. Well, now it’s official.”–KD, as coffee spilt all over her hospice clinic office form.

“Is that your hospice completion form? You should draw an arrow and write ‘Poo‘ on it. No, no–Write ‘Coffee or Poo?‘ question mark!”…pause…

“That’s the kind of thing they’re going to cite on the list when they kick me out of medical school for unprofessional behavior, isn’t it?”–SW

Probably, Stew. Probably.

Look forward to the AMSA Regional Conference/X-mas edition–coming soon.

Just a Great Day November 15, 2008

Life has been so good lately it’s hard to believe.  And with trips home to my family (everyone is going to be there this year!!!) and the conclusion of my MAJOR FALL PROJECT so close in the future (21 days and counting!), I only see it getting better.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday), here’s a short list of reasons why my Saturday was fantastic:

1. I slept my fill. Sure that it was close to eleven, I guiltily arose to check my alarm and realized it was only 7:30 am.  So I brewed some coffee and goofed around for the rest of the morning.
2. For lunch, SH recommended this little health food store on 34th. They have a café that tastes like one of my old undergrad haunts, so now I have a new favorite place to eat.
3. Spent all afternoon at J&B’s coffee making note cards. More satisfying than it sounds. Saw buddies PW & AY.  A little girl roared at me from over her father’s shoulder. I roared back.   Rrrrrrr!
4. Got in a little AIM chatting with JA, who’s been really stressed out lately. He sounded really upbeat, which makes me happy.
5. Helped PW with some girlfriend birthday ideas. Felt useful.
6. Went running at my favorite park. 4 miles. First was under 6 min, others definitely under 8 min. Kind of super excited about that.
7. Tried my hand at making grilled tofu-spinach-tomato-mozzarella melt sandwiches for dinner. They were surprisingly tasty (I marinated the tofu in Heinz 57 and Worcestershire sauce.).
8. Played with kitty. yay for quality time.
9. And I think even with all this goodness I’ll be in bed by ten forty-five.

Good day.

Med School Quotes of the Week: Birthday/Election Edition November 3, 2008

1) “I was so afraid to get out of the trunk because I thought I was going to get caught!’”–SH (overheard. context unknown.)

2) “I’m really looking forward to your birthday. Not just, you know, because of, you, but because of hope.”–CS (my birthday is November 4)

3) “You want to go to Freebird’s for your birthday? You’re worth more than that, K-dunc.”–SW Aw, thanks SW, but I like Freebird’s.

4) “Everytime he turns around and looks at you in class–I just want a slingshot so I can snap him.”–SH This was better with accompanying gestures.

5) “I can’t wait until election day. I had a nightmare last night that McCain won! It was awful.”–DC

6) “How was last night?”

“Awesome! Well, I woke up in a strange bed, but I was alone and all my clothes were on, so I figure that’s alright.”

“Man, wish I could say the same thing.” –Ouch. Initials withheld to protect the innocent.

7) “I’ve been so excited all day! I was grinning at the gynecologist during my appointment. I thought about telling him why to make it less weird, but I was afraid he’d be a Republican and he’d poke me.”–MR

“You can get Herpes Simplex 2 blisters on the mouth though, right?”–CP

“That’s not her mouth.”–RM, in reference to an image illustrating the OTHER pair of lips where HSV2 blisters tend to appear.

9) Grabbing my shoulder–“Are you an epidemiologist?”-my teacher, after I spoke up in class about the pros/cons of the Gardasil cervical cancer vaccine.

“Yes, yes I am.”-KD

“I always wanted to be an epidemiologist!”–imagine prof saying this in a dreamy, fan-girl tone of voice.  I was flattered, and a little stunned.

Birthday/Election Week Edition; updates will appear as stories develop.

==Final==

It was a good week.

Kitty needs some risperidone. October 31, 2008

If you’re curious, read more about the anti-psychotic risperidone HERE.

It’s an *atypical* anti-psychotic, one of a newer generation of drugs that has fewer Parkinson’s Syndrome-like side effects. These side effects were a huge problem of traditional neuroleptics, and were irreverently referred to as the “Thorazine Shuffle.” One of my favorite novelty songs out there is named after this phenomenon, originally recorded by a group called Bongos, Bass & Bob.  Click HERE to get some trivia and the “Thorazine Shuffle” audio track.

Med School Quotes of the Week: October 18, 2008

1) “My husband taught me how to use a gun…Oh, he’s not afraid of me.  He says, ‘honey, you’re a real good aim, but you take too long to line up your shots.’”–BA

2) “So the movie Outbreak was based on this guy, right? Which character was he? Was he Dustin Hoffman?”–DC

–after explaining that although our conference keynote speaker had researched Ebola outbreaks, and the movie Outbreak is about an imaginary virus similar to Ebola, it in no way tells a story about real people or events:

“So.. is he Dustin Hoffman?”–DC

3) “I have utterly failed in my vain attempt to be the most informed man in America.”–AB

4) On the use of foreign letters: “I’m a big fan of the ‘ñ.’”–KD

“Who isn’t?”–AY

5) “What are you doing?”

“We’re going to see how many mini M&M’s LM can inhale in one breath.  He’s going for thirty–a new record!”–CS

“Wait, he’s going to snort M&M’s?”

“Of course not. That’d be dumb!”–MM  –To clarify, he was inhaling them from a line off a desk in the lecture hall into his mouth, and missed the record by 2 pieces. Yes, I wish I had video to post for you, too.

I do not make this stuff up.

Medical School = Depression October 10, 2008

If you experience 5 or more of the following symptoms for more than a 2 week period, you may be clinically depressed in graduate school:

1.) Depressed mood most days

2.) Diminished pleasure experienced from activities you once enjoyed. (Sorry, I have to study.)

3.) Unplanned weight loss/weight gain; appetite increase/decrease.

4.) Insomnia/hypersomnia

5.) Psychomotor agitation/retardation

6.) Fatigue or loss of energy

7.) Feelings of worthlessness or excessive/inappropriate guilt (I should really be in the library right now…)

8.) Diminished ability to concentrate/indecisiveness

9.) Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide. (Prof. Boring again? Shoot me now.)

Catch-22 April 30, 2008

I come to think of it as the “med school catch-22.” And just like the original catch-22, there’s more than one,  a whole cache of catches, but they all amount to the same thing. You have to be crazy to want to put yourself through this.  And everyone thinks that you’re crazy if you want to leave.  And of course, those in my class who seem to have adapted best (i.e. make the best grades, seem to be “in their element”) are the craziest of all.  They seem fine, until you try to have a normal conversation about a non-medical school topic.   Society perpetuates this myth that medical school is a fantastic opportunity where individuals with super-human intelligence and altruism learn magical things and then go on to make gobs of money and live glamourous lives.  Not so.  Medical school requires high entry grades, true, but having met and interacted with so many medical students in the past ten months, I’ve become more an more convinced that true intelligence is not or cannot be considered when accepting applicants.