1) “My husband taught me how to use a gun…Oh, he’s not afraid of me. He says, ‘honey, you’re a real good aim, but you take too long to line up your shots.’”–BA
2) “So the movie Outbreak was based on this guy, right? Which character was he? Was he Dustin Hoffman?”–DC
–after explaining that although our conference keynote speaker had researched Ebola outbreaks, and the movie Outbreak is about an imaginary virus similar to Ebola, it in no way tells a story about real people or events:
“So.. is he Dustin Hoffman?”–DC
3) “I have utterly failed in my vain attempt to be the most informed man in America.”–AB
4) On the use of foreign letters: “I’m a big fan of the ‘ñ.’”–KD
“Who isn’t?”–AY
5) “What are you doing?”
“We’re going to see how many mini M&M’s LM can inhale in one breath. He’s going for thirty–a new record!”–CS
“Wait, he’s going to snort M&M’s?”
“Of course not. That’d be dumb!”–MM –To clarify, he was inhaling them from a line off a desk in the lecture hall into his mouth, and missed the record by 2 pieces. Yes, I wish I had video to post for you, too.
I do not make this stuff up.
